So, J and I were talking today and got on the subject of the dating scene and how bad it really can be!!! I mean, there are so many infomercials out there now at 4 am (J... take an Ambien already!)You can basically watch infomercials from 12a-4a, order the shit, and in 7-10 business days, (unless you pay high $$ and get that express delivery) you can reinvent your ass... just like that!! Poof!!! You're a ten!!
Check this out......
You don't like the shade of brown that your eyes are?? Well, never fear!! Colored contacts are here! That's right!! Now you can have those sparkling, waters of the Bahama's colored eyes!~Just $19.99 with shipping and handling.
How about your hair? Not long enough for you? Want your man to feel your long locks on his tight ass abs? Well, just snap in your new long, silky weave and go to town!!!!
Don't like to think about what your man is seeing when you lean over in front of him? Well give those girls a lift with the chicken cutlets!! They'll stand at attention for hours!!
Now if you don't have enough junk in your trunk, you should really invest in the ass pads! Spanx with an ass..... who'd a thunk it????
Yes, those are all wonderful things..... but two things here: a- that "as seen on TV" shit usually never works the way they show it on TV and b- what is your man gonna think when he goes into the bathroom and sees two eyes, two chicken cutlets, a lock of hair and an ass sitting on the sink??? He's gonna think you just performed an exorcism and get the hell out of there!!!
What next??????? These poor guys will truly never know exactly what they're getting until it's all over and the damage is done!!!! Scarring them for life!!! I bet they will never order chicken again!!!
My blogs are about whatever is ticking me off or interesting me at that moment. Usually all my posts are written from the bathtub, since THIS is where I do my best thinking!
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