Please....Nobody Wants to see Your Bimples!!

Is it ever possible to go to Wal-Mart and not run into someone who belongs on the "People of Wal-mart" website? You know the one....where they show the "people" who come in dressed up like they just rolled out of bed.....or worse!!!
Well, today I had the pleasure, joy, most fucked up view EVER while waiting in line!! "Bimples and her I wanna be like that Honey Boo-Boo daughter were in front of me. With a cart FULL of garbage food which were paid with food stamps, but that's for another post.  While standing in line, I couldn't help but notice that Bimples, apparently thought she needed to dress up for her Wal-Mart outing today. I'll give her credit... no part of her body was hanging out (side boob, muffin top, tramp stamp, etc...). But what in the HELL is wrong with your ASS????? 
It literally looked like her ass was made of soft clay and someone took an object and just dimpled the hell out of it! When you wear spandex leggings, they show EVERY dimple you have!!! OMG!! Nasty!!  I'm sorry.... I'm by no means overweight, but, I do NOT wear spandex leggings ANYWHERE, other than to bed or under my jeans if it's really cold out and I'm sledding down the driveway in my laundry basket. These are meant to be worn in public by girls under the age of 12, who usually wear them under a skirt. This is OK.  45 year old women with a ton of cellulite on their legs and ass should NOT sport this kind of attire!! I know Wal-Mart is famous for, "come as you are, we'll take your money regardless" approach, but shit!! I was literally sick to my stomach!!
Quick lesson here. Jeggings are like spandex but are made of thin denim and don't show the dimples. And they actually make your jiggly ass a little tighter. Jeggings are for women over 40. BUY DAMN JEGGINS, PEOPLE!!! End of story.

See?? I rest my case.

I'm Baaaaaaaack!!!

Holy crap!! Not having a laptop for the last three months was pure torture!! Do you know how hard it is to Pinterest, blog, READ anything on an I phone?
But, thanks the massive amounts of overtime lately, I have a new computer! And I'm back and ready to bitch.... err, blog. Yeah, blog!

Where to begin??? So much stuff has frustrated me, pissed me off, intrigued me.....

This blog will just be my "getting back to blogging post." A little of this, a bunch of that....  so, here we go.

First, I would just like to thank the two folks from Sweden who continue to view my blog everyday, even though there are no recent posts. I appreciate that you are checking for updates. That tells me you like me! Or you are VERY bored. Either way, thank you!!

I believe my last blog was about the Superfluous Underwear.  Just a quick update on that. I am protesting the sale of "underpants" that come in a three pack. Hey.... nobody said you had to join in! I personally think it's a total rip off. And I have NOT worn them since the event that I had to buy them for. I'm sure the "underpants" company is probably laughing at my emails but I feel it is my duty to stand up for all of the "only wear underpants occasionally" crowd. That is all.

Next..... I'm not sure if it's just me actually growing a little soft spot or menopause getting ready to kick in and toy with my emotional state. Either way, since I've had more time on my hands lately due to no laptop, I did a  lot of thinking. I thought about my friends and the people I thought were my friends but now I'm not so sure. I mean really, at our age, well, at my age, who likes a know it all, been there, done that, I know more people than you, hypocritical, judgemental, who don't we like this week busy body. I mean really..... we're not in high school people. I don't want to sit and listen to who you don't like and why you don't like them. You will not sway me one way or the other. I form my own  opinions. So save your breath,  stop trying to be someone you are not. We don't care WHO you know or HOW you know them. Personally, I don't give a rats ass!!!! So shush already!

Speaking of friends. I just wanted to give a shout out to my friend, Stephanie Perfect. She set up a yard sale/canned food drive and all food and money went to the local food bank. She saw a story on the news where people were standing in line at 5am just to hopefully be able to get a few items. The food banks are running low thanks in part to this wonderful economy. People purchased items with canned goods and made monetary donations.  It was a huge success and over 1300 pounds of food was collected!! Way to go Stephanie!! I am so proud of you and what you accomplished!!! YOU ROCK!!!!


Facebook.... I'm really over it.  I don't get on nearly as much as I did in the past. Let me tell you why. I've blogged about this before but apparently nobody read it and took the hint. I get up at 4:45 every morning. I sit and have my coffee, scroll down through Face book to see what's going on and all I ever see anymore is political views, pictures people take with their phones posing with those Angelina Jolie duck lips pooched out, "in a relationship" to "single" to "in a relationship" to "it's complicated."  All withing an 8 hour span. Really? If it changes that much, that quick, walk away. It's obviously not a good relationship. Duh! Or, some of my favorite posts to hate include posts about your headache you've had for 3 days, the amount of narcotics you took for said headache, the amount of time you sat at the doctors office, the fact that your hiatal hernia is acting up again, your rant to your ex, AND STOP SENDING ME FRIGIN GAME REQUESTS (I only play words with friends...)!!!! Seriously. I'm over it.

Any-who.....  I just wanted to let y'all know I was back!!! Keep on reading and I'll keep on blogging!

My book, for those interested, is nearing the end and will be trying to make it's way to a Barnes and Noble near you!! Keep your fingers crossed that some publisher will enjoy my sense of humor and publish the damn thing!!

Oh wait!! Two more things!! One, just because it's fall now doesn't mean you should neglect your toenails!! A good Mani/pedi never killed anyone!!! And I urge you to go to Walgreen's and buy some Cadburry Screme Eggs for Halloween! They have green creme in the center!!! Yum-frig in-ohhhhhhhh!!! OK, now I'm done! 

Peace out Bitches!!