Sunday, May 30, 2010

Hold your Vagina

So, what do you get when you have 8 adults (3 women, 5 men), all over the age of 30, a pool party, cookout and no alcoholic beverages?? An episode of Dr. Oz and lots of talk about penis' and vaginas!
Seriously! This was the most I laughed in a long, long time!
It started out as just the women watching the episode about "what you wanted to know about vaginas' and penis'. Then the men came in. THEN, it got hysterical. Not only did they TALK about your GENITALS, (yes, G.B., that's what they're called) they actually had audience members looking at and touching cadaver genitalia. Kind of strange..... So, I surveyed the "crowd" and asked what everyone thought they looked liked. The cadaver penis looked like, a mushroom, a chicken gizzard and a copperhead!! The vagina was said to have looked like a raw oyster and the crowd favorite, a freezer burned steak-um!! Lord, I'll never eat a Philly cheese steak again!
We did learn some amazing facts as well. Like, the penis is around 5 1/2 inches when erect. Hold up a dollar bill and it should be around the same length. If not, you may have "poor genital image" problems. If you don't suffer from poor genital image problems, you are 6 times more likely to feel better about yourself. Interesting. Did you know that there are actually surgeries out there to "fix" your genital issues?? "yes, I'd like a brow lift, a little botox in the wrinkle on my forehead, and heck, throw in a vagina lift while you're at it! " Oh my.....
Women, you can keep your vagina in check by doing pilates or by golfing. Yes, I know, I too am excited to hear this...... :-) just kidding! I'd rather have a "not so in tact vagina" and spend that money on a cruise!!
I so wanted to post the pictures of the cadaver vagina and penis, but, I cannot locate them on the web. I am going to email the producer though. We were all a little grossed out when after touching the cadaver genitalia, they shook hands.... but one was still wearing the glove that touched them..... ewwwwwwwwww!!!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

My name is Kerri and I'm an addict.......

A HULA HOOP ADDICT, that is! OMG! I love, love, LOVE my hula hoop! I have hooped every day since I bought it. And I'm not talking just hooping for a few minutes. No. I'm talking about hooping for thirty minutes or more at a time. I hooped through half of Tori and Dean last night, and tonight, I hooped for over 45 minutes watching The Biggest Loser! Talk about inspiration! Not only did I just hoop, I hooped doing squats! I've added my own little moves to make it more interesting. I can tell my leg muscles and abs are getting tighter and I think the "muffin top" is on it's way out the door. Just wanted to update you on the hula hoop! Best $5.00 I've spent in a long time!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Bye bye muffin top....hello Hula hoop!

Alright, you all know that I'm addicted to all of the  "As seen on TV" items.... the Shake Weight, The neck toner thingy, Topsy Turvie, the cheese grater looking thing for your feet and all the other FUN items, but this time, it's different.  I'm trying to lose my muffin top and nothing seems to be working.  Or, maybe it's because I'M not working... either way, I need to get rid of it. So, I was watching tv one day and Marissa Tomei' was on Ellen hula hooping. (Have you seen Marissa? She's HOT! ) AND, she says it's all due to the hula hoop! She hoops to music... dances with the hoop, walks with the hoop..... it's crazy! So, I went to Target today and bought me a $5.00 hula hoop.  I came home and tried it out.... 200 spins and I seriously could have kept going. I was not winded, wasn't sweating.....  so, I looked on You Tube for Hula Hooping exercises and found tons of them! This is apparently the "new thing" to do!! So, I've done almost a thousand spins over the last few hours! I can feel it in my lower back and shoulders from holding my arms up. I'm hoping that the "muffins" get rolled out flat in a few weeks... like the video says! I'll let you know how this works out! I'm on a mission to diminish the "muffin top!"

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Me? I'm 39........... again.

What is it about turning 40 that scares the crap out of me? I'll be 40 in a few months and it's killing me.  I think about it everyday.  I'm panicking! Why? It's just another birthday, right? I've been trying to find reasons why it's going to be ok....... but I can't. My son is getting ready to graduate from college.  Now THAT makes me feel old. Even though I had him at a young age, I still feel old. Is this a mid-life crisis? I don't feel the need to go out and buy a flashy car or go and have my boobs "done."  I don't have the urge to go find a hot 25 year old to seduce... (no Mrs. Robinson here, thank you.). I do feel like I need to move to another city, as this one is getting boring to me. I live in Nashville, TN. Though it is a beautiful city and offers tons of things to do.... if you're a musician.  I feel as though I've seen it all.  My husband is a musician and I've been to all of the honky tonks, concerts, festivals, etc........ I just want a change.  I moved here twelve years ago.  Not to pursue a music career. Again, for a change of scenery. I had lived in upstate NY for 25 years and moved to Florida with my family after they retired.  We went from extreme cold weather and snow to extreme heat.  It was awful.  Florida was so big and so fast paced that I literally had panic attacks almost daily when I had to use the expressway to get to work.  I enjoy writing and all I can think about is moving to a town like Mayberry, sitting on my porch and writing a best selling novel.  I think about taking a break and going to the beach, or riding my bike into town.  Am I just living in fantasy land? Should I just pack up and leave Nashville to pursue my dreams or attempt to pursue my dreams? Or am I just setting myself up for a big let down.  I just don't know which direction to turn.  I have a job here. I'm not happy with it, but, it's a job.  I just don't want to live my life doing this job because I have to and never stepping outside the box to see what else is out there for me.  I'm almost 40.......  it's time......   right?  Here I go......  panicking.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Nashville Flood of 2010

Unless you live in a cave, you have heard about the flood that hit Nashville last weekend. Homes lost, lives lost, historical buildings lost........pure devastation. It's very sad to see. Please look at the photos below and see just exactly what Nashville is experiencing. These pictures don't show it all, but you'll get an idea.
If you would like to donate time or money, please click on one of the links below. Please remember that there are also many pets that are at the animal shelters. They also need donations. Please keep Nashville in your prayers. Finally, the national news will be live in Nashville, tomorrow, Thursday the 6th.  Anderson Cooper 360 will be live at 10pm. Please watch!
www.nashvilleredcross.org

www.newschannel5.com 

http://www.nashvillehumane.org/ 

www.handsonnashville.org