YES, You ARE Tired!!! Take These!!

OK, I'll admit, I've been going to a counselor because I was feeling a little homesick-y, empty nest-y, friendless-y...... that kind of crap. Hey, I just moved here a few months ago and got a little overwhelmed. So I thought, heck, why not. Maybe I'll make some friends there. Well, that didn't happen but I sure have gotten a lot of good material out of these visits, which is why I'm continuing to go.
I had no idea that this was a "Christian Counseling Center" when I made the appointment. So the use of the words, fucktard, fat bastard and a long list of four letter words was probably not the best choice. Though my counselor did tell me it was OK to open up and speak freely.  Her bad!
I'm honestly getting a good giggle out of these visits. My counselor has finally figured out my name is NOT Kelly, she loves my purse and cardigans and boots, thinks we could be good friends..... WAIT.... WHAT? I think not. No...  not gonna happen. She cracks me up!! It's really like going to a one hour one-on-one comedy routine. She doesn't tell me anything I don't already know.
Yesterday, she thought I should see the licensed psychiatrist. She thought maybe my mind was spinning too much over everything going on in my life and I may need some medication. Ok, I'll bite.
This shrink! Holy Shit! He was like 70 years old and was HYSTERICAL!!! He said I was tired and needed something to sleep at night. "No, I sleep pretty good, actually."  "NO! You're mentally tired and need a good nights sleep!" Whoa..... are you serious? "You need an anti-depressant to help you get through all of this!" All of what?  I need a beer and cigarette during intermission because this is the best show I've seen in a long time! You have no idea the writing material that's come out of this. Needless to say, I did not get sleeping pills. A nice glass of Merlot does the saaaaaaaame thing. Trust me!

Plasma.... Plasma for sale......

Just when you think you start to see light at the end of the tunnel, POOF!!! The shit-bomb explodes and it's dark and crappy again!!
I just did my taxes and this is the first year I've EVER had to pay in!! What the hell?  I followed the online tax forms, entered the amounts from my W2, kinda got a little sidetracked thinking about the new laptop I was going to purchase with my return, then, right there, in a big red box, "YOU OWE THE IRS $2699.00!"  What? This can't be right!!! Maybe I keyed something in wrong.  Maybe the computer had a glitch. HOLY SHIT SOMEBODY GIVE ME A PAPER BAG!!!! I entered the numbers three different times.  I still owe the IRS!!! I called them!! Ranting and raving!!! I had to pull my mouth filter out because, hey, it is the IRS and they can screw with your money. So, I thought I'd better keep this conversation clean.
The wonderful gentleman on the other end as-a-matter-of-factly pointed out to me that when I got divorced, my employer never changed my w4 to single!! WHAT???  I know I filled that thing out! You've got to be shitting me!! I've been taxed as a married person all year, so, I didn't pay in enough, so now, I must pay the IRS some money!! Wonderful. Not only that, my paychecks will now be much smaller since I'll be taxed even more as a single person.  Which, does not make sense to me.  Tax the people with more than one paycheck coming in every month. Why screw with the single person's check (singular.. as in ONE check.. not TWO...grrrr).
So no new laptop. But I will be the proud owner of a coupon book of payments to go to the IRS every month. Maybe I'll start selling plasma to pay them off early.
I just needed to vent. That is all. Oh, and......FML...........

Uh-Huh...Uh-Huh..Uh- Uh--What???

I work from home doing accounts receivable. I basically have to figure out why insurance claims didn't pay and well, get them to pay.
Today, I was calling one of my usual payers.  A state agency. I won't say which state because that wouldn't be very PEACHY of me.... know what I"m sayin'... . Anyway.... id numbers are usually 12 digits or so long, so me, being professional and aware that some major dumb asses work for these companies use the thee digit rule.  I give numbers in three's then I pause a nanosecond and then go to the next three digits. It's a good little system. So today, I'm talking to a rep and I go on to give the id number.. "1,2...", "UH-HUH!"  What the??? WHY are you interrupting me after only 2 digits? Why are you even SPEAKING??? TYPE the numbers in and don't say a WORD!!!! After her "UH-HUH" I had to ask her what number she got to. "Um, you said 1,2,2.... "NO! That's not what I said. Let me start from the beginning. 1,2..", "UH- HUH, UH-HUH".... What in the HELL????  STOP IT!!!! So I had to ask again what number she got to.  This chick was adamant that I said, 1,2,2.  I never even GOT to the third digit so I have no clue how she came up with that! She started to giggle and said, "I don't know why we're having such a time with this!! It's almost the weekend so we must be getting anxious!" Um, no douche bag! It's only noon on Thursday and I'm getting frustrated because you won't shut your cake hole long enough for me to spit out an id number so you can do your job and tell me why you didn't pay on this claim!!! THAT'S what it making me anxious.  After the third round of the "UH-HUH" game, I just rattled it all off.... 12 digits... one right after the other. Not giving her a chance to slip in the UH-HUH! "Miss Kerri you're like a speed reader!"  Really? No, it's called I have productivity to meet and you're screwing it up for the day. I cannot deal with that shit. Or the one's that snap their gum in your ear, cough in your ear, mute you while they're talking to their neighbor, put you on hold while "they look into it" and accidentally get disconnected (I love having to call back and they are the one to answer again!! That's my ticket to be obnoxious with them!) or give you some fake ass excuse because they have no clue what their doing. 
That shit was just pissing me off today so I thought I share it.
Oh, on a happier note, HAPPY NATIONAL TATER TOT DAY!!!!!! I love tater tots!!! Nom-a-nom-a-nom!!!!!!!