YES, You ARE Tired!!! Take These!!

OK, I'll admit, I've been going to a counselor because I was feeling a little homesick-y, empty nest-y, friendless-y...... that kind of crap. Hey, I just moved here a few months ago and got a little overwhelmed. So I thought, heck, why not. Maybe I'll make some friends there. Well, that didn't happen but I sure have gotten a lot of good material out of these visits, which is why I'm continuing to go.
I had no idea that this was a "Christian Counseling Center" when I made the appointment. So the use of the words, fucktard, fat bastard and a long list of four letter words was probably not the best choice. Though my counselor did tell me it was OK to open up and speak freely.  Her bad!
I'm honestly getting a good giggle out of these visits. My counselor has finally figured out my name is NOT Kelly, she loves my purse and cardigans and boots, thinks we could be good friends..... WAIT.... WHAT? I think not. No...  not gonna happen. She cracks me up!! It's really like going to a one hour one-on-one comedy routine. She doesn't tell me anything I don't already know.
Yesterday, she thought I should see the licensed psychiatrist. She thought maybe my mind was spinning too much over everything going on in my life and I may need some medication. Ok, I'll bite.
This shrink! Holy Shit! He was like 70 years old and was HYSTERICAL!!! He said I was tired and needed something to sleep at night. "No, I sleep pretty good, actually."  "NO! You're mentally tired and need a good nights sleep!" Whoa..... are you serious? "You need an anti-depressant to help you get through all of this!" All of what?  I need a beer and cigarette during intermission because this is the best show I've seen in a long time! You have no idea the writing material that's come out of this. Needless to say, I did not get sleeping pills. A nice glass of Merlot does the saaaaaaaame thing. Trust me!