I'm NOT Perfect??? Are you serious???

Wow... nothing like having a day dedicated to reinforcing the fact that you are NOT perfect. Jeesh.....
It started off with a phone call basically stating the obvious....I'M NOT PERFECT!! I'm ok with the fact that I'm not perfect. But to be berated first thing in the morning?? Ummm, NO! I cannot and will not deal with that! Especially over shit that is not worth arguing about. I am forty years old... please don't treat/talk to me like a naive little child. There is nothing worse than someone putting you on a pedestal and when you do something that, to the normal person, wouldn't be that big of a deal, you are treated like you just stole their best friend and cut their heart out. WTF?
Not only that, I woke up this morning in AGONY!!! I couldn't even roll over. I raked and bagged leaves ( 15 total bags) yesterday and I am seriously paying for it today. My calves hurt, my glutes hurt, my back hurts,my shoulders hurt, my forearms hurt, my hands have blisters on them and my neck is sensitive to the touch!! OMG!!! Two muscle relaxers, a 40 of Miller Lite and a hot bath did NOT help it at ALL!! So, here it is, Sunday, and what am I doing? Sitting in the recliner, ON THE HEATING PAD LIKE AN OLD PERSON!!!!
Before I got comfy in the recliner, I went to Target to order my new glasses. When the old dude helping me was all excited about the fact that my new bifocal, PROGRESSIVE lenses are just like his, I felt the gray come into my hair follicles at lightning speed. How can this be??? I had 20/20 vision about 5 years ago. How did I go from PERFECT vision to progressively NOT perfect? Regardless, I ordered them because frankly, I CAN'T SEE SHIT!
I know I'm not perfect and nothing about me is perfect. Nobody is. But, I am who I am and if that's not good enough, well, I don't know what to tell you.

I Don't Care Anymore.......

What a crap-ass day!! Rain... wind.... blah.... 
I'm sitting in my bubble tub, of course, thinking about things that have been going on in my life lately. Needless to say, some things I'm not very happy about. Recently, I was pretty much called a liar. OK, let me just clear the air here real quick. One, I DO NOT LIE!!! If I change my mind, well, that doesn't make me a liar. Indecisive, selfish.... maybe. A liar? Not a chance in hell. Trust me, if I don't like something or don't want to do something, I'll tell you straight out!! So, on that note, kiss my ass! I'm tired of trying to defend myself.
I've also come to the conclusion recently that I'm too frigin nice! WTF is wrong with me? I cater to people because I genuinely care about them and then get shit on. How can people do that? And why in the hell do I keep letting it happen? NO MORE!!! 
I'm all about Kerri right now and what makes ME happy!!! You don't like it? Oh well, I'm sorry..... fuck off then.

Today, I'm lying in the tub, my pore cleansing face mask drying on my face like hot, red clay in the Georgia sun (hoping it pulls all the wrinkles and blemishes OUT), candles burning, radio blasting.... just all about me. I'm also not answering my phone or text messages today. I see a big glass of wine (I said one glass and it is after 12:00 for you bible beating hypocrites), Jersey Shore marathon (yeah, a little juice head Guido marathon is more accurate),my recliner, a nap and then some writing later on. Yep. That's my day.
So, watch out, the NEW and IMPROVED Kerri is getting ready to emerge. You think my blogs are nasty now? You ain't seen nothin' yet!!!  No more Miss Sensitive (believe it or not, I really am an overly sensitive person. I know previous blogs would make you think differently)...... I just read Snooki's article in Rolling Stone and ya' know what? She may look like a little sausage but that girl is honest and doesn't give a shit what people think about her!! She is who she is and look where it's taking her? She's not perfect, that for sure, but she doesn't let people shit on her and calls them out when they try to.  She's my new hero! I will not be sporting the Snooki pouf or the tight dresses.  I don't want to be her clone. I just want to have the confidence of that pint size sausage in a baby sock (and to think I didn't like her at one point. That's what you get for judging someone without really knowing them).
Well, time to rinse the mask and have some wine.
Phil Collins says it best........

Spring is in the Air........ Get Your Damn Feet Done!!!!!

Lord help me..... seems like every year, when I go to Target on the one nice day that feels like Spring is almost here, I run into the person who got so excited to wear summer attire that they left the house looking suck-tastic! Last year, I had the run in with the guy with the shorty-shorts on and the chia pets UN GROOMED!!! This year, it's the woman with the feet that are so dry and flaky and cracked, wearing NICE sandals..... WTF? Do you people not do a "look over" before you head out the door? First off, I hate feet! I only like my own. But, when it's time to lose the socks and wear sandals, I exfoliate, exfoliate, EXFOLIATE!!! Then, I do a major pedicure, you know, to soften up the skin, make it look like I didn't just step in a pile of cigarette ashes and plaster of paris.THAT IS SO FRIGIN NASTY!!!! They just look all rough and crusty.... ewwwwww!!!! I hope you don't have expensive sheets on your bed!!! You'll cut them bitches up with your heels getting in.
I don't know why this annoys the shit out of me! It just does. I think everyone should take care of themselves before exposing your feet for the summer.  My feet look good all year long.... because I DON'T want to have to buy new sheets every other week! Plus, it just feels good.
I guess it's just that time of year......  I'm growing to hate the end of winter/beginning of Spring.  It grosses me out, honestly.  Oh, and what about the legs... all dry and flaky....  uggghhhh!! They make fucking lotion, people!!!
Oh hell, at least it gives me something to blog about.  Happy almost Spring, people!
Peace out~