"We're going to have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f'ing Kaye. "~Clark Criswold

I can't believe Christmas is over...... it seems like I just left for Florida yesterday!!! Those 5 days flew by. I got to see my son, which, was present enough for me!! I miss that kid something awful.....
This was the BEST Christmas we've had as a family in a long time!  There were no feuds, no tears shed, no Clark Griswold light episodes.....  just a good time!!!
My family has a big spaghetti dinner on Christmas Eve... that's our thing. This year, you were required to wear Christmas pajamas. So, that was interesting.  My sister ordered our favorite foods from Upstate NY where we're from.... REAL Italian bread, REAL Italian cookies and cheese curd!! It was awesome! It felt like Christmas circa 1979. Minus the 30 cousins. After our big dinner, we did dirty Santa with gag gifts. I won a beer helmet, which I re-gifted to my son!
Christmas morning was great! My great-nephew Oliver is one years old, and it was just fun watching him.  He loved the paper and boxes. 
If you read any of my previous blogs, you know how I feel about Christmas and the gifts.  My sister on the other hand, believes the more the merrier!! Which, is fine....  if you can afford to do so. Which she can. I still believe that one gift is sufficient, buuuuuuuut....  whatdayado?
The tree on Christmas morning was unbelievable. Gifts out the ass!! When you have to take a break after the first hour and a half of unwrapping to clean up the paper to make room for the next batch...... NUTS!!! Fun, but NUTS!!!
I'm still trying to decide if the Rachael Ray pots and pans from my mom and sister, my new FOSSIL purse, my Pajama jeans or my Sperry's are my fave!! I'm torn. I got so much stuff.  Unbelievable. I drove home with two massive totes filled with goodies, the passenger seat loaded to the top of the truck and my seat pushed up as far as it would go just to fit it all in.  Call me crazy, but, that's a little much,don't ya think?
Needless to say, everyone had a great Christmas! Not many people can say that they spend every Christmas with their ENTIRE family! 15 people sleeping under the same roof on Christmas Eve..... AWESOME!!!
We definitely put the FUN in dysfunctional this year!!!

Christmas.... The Time for Joy, Peace and Plastic Millionaires.....

So, one week from today, everyone will have opened their gifts, spent the day with family, ate too much and argued with at least one member of their family. It's tradition.
One week from Monday, the "cheery" people will go back to being their typical NON cheery selves.  What is it with people around Christmas? Why do people try to change who they are? It kills me. I have lost the spirit of Christmas..... many years ago.  It's too commercialized! What happened to the days of buying your kid a barbie, some clothes, and maybe, juuuuust maybe, a new bike?  And we were happy with those things.  Now it's, be at Wal-mart at midnight to stand in line for the new, hot off the press Elmo doll, the latest video games, smart phones and computers. You can't just go buy a Barbie and a pack of licorice and watch your kids eyes sparkle when they see A GIFT under the tree. Oh no..... now the kids are sitting under the tree with calculators adding up what their stuff costs and feeling let down if you didn't spend at least $500.  They feel jipped! And they're only 7!
Ok, when I was a kid, we always had a great Christmas.  My favorite part was, and still is, the stocking.  Fill that sucker with fruit, a new toothbrush, a few trinkity toys.......  I was ecstatic!! Yes, the gifts were nice and my mother used to go overboard a little, but nothing crazy. She didn't have to take a second mortgage out or sell her plasma to pay for it. 
Nowadays, people charge, charge, charge from October through December.... never batting an eye, just, "charge it!"  I know that using a credit card will make it feel like you have money and will make you spend that much more.  But really people..... you do understand that, "YOU HAVE TO PAY THIS ALL BACK....WITH INTEREST," don't you? 
So, these plastic millionaires are all happy and chipper during  the holidays, but come January 5th..... it's all over but the crying. 
I see so many phony people during the holidays and it makes me laugh. I know you're an asshole 11 out of 12 months, soooooooo, who are you trying to kid, walking around with your Capitol One card, acting like you bring home $100,000 a year? If you don't have the cash for it, YOU DON'T NEED IT!!! Stop trying to be someone you're not.
Kids these days don't even have a clue about the real meaning of Christmas.  You don't have to attend a church to teach your kids. Our kids will never appreciate the value of a dollar if we just give them whatever they want, going into debt to get it.  Why are we doing this? Why are we setting such bad examples? With the economy like it is, we should be giving our kids a $20 bill and a savings account and teaching them that you are helping them with their future.  Not giving them a $400 smart phone........   that's really not very smart......
I just felt compelled to write this, hoping that maybe just one person might read it and say, "hey, that's me!! I'm a dumbass!"
On that note, to whoever celebrates Christmas for all of the right reasons, have a very Merry Christmas and a terrific New Year!! For the rest of you, enjoy your 15 minutes of feeling important because now, YOU HAVE TO PAY IT ALL BACK!!!! WITH INTEREST!!! ENJOY, DUMB ASS!!!!

Hello...... Is There Anybody in There????

Obviously from the date of my last post, I haven't bitched in a while.  I've been too busy. Working, unpacking, sleeping.... you know, getting my priorities in order. Or have I?
Let's see, I still don't have one picture on the wall, some of my clothes are still in boxes and I've yet to locate all of my dvd's.  What in the hell have I been doing for the last month???  Oh well.... it'll all be there over the weekend.
Also, if you haven't noticed, I haven't been on Facebook NEARLY as much! I'm getting so bored with the same old shit..... "my back is still hurting," "........is at Fat Charlie's," "is there anyone on here that can diagnose my car engine?? It's making a hiss, hiss, cough noise..?" I'll admit, I'm as guilty as the next guy for those comments, but, shit!!! I'm over it!!!! I want to start 2012 out in a positive, relaxed state!!! I'm over listening to everyone shit problems!! I'd say I have my own, but I really don't.  I'm happy, content, getting fat...... you know how it is when you move in with a guy.  It's love weight.... and I HATE IT!!!! Love D but man, his appetite is ABSURD!!!!!! Yet, he's still thin......   grrrrrrr..... 
Now, with all that being said, I still like to bitch about the things that REALLY piss me off..... such as:
The Duggars..... yes, it's extremely sad that they lost their daughter prematurely.  I think she was due in April.  Now, I can see having a nice, PERSONAL memorial for her.  NOT a memorial where a picture of  the fetus is given to all attendees.....  ARE YOU PEOPLE SMOKING THE BIBLE????? Who does that??? It was plastered all over Twitter today!!! The hand wasn't even as big as a fingernail!! I couldn't look.....  I just couldn't believe it. I'm so sorry for their loss.... I truly am.  But, maybe it's time to start looking into birth control. My one question is this.... with 19 kids and 2 grandchildren, where do they even find the time to have sex?? I work a ten hour day, don't have any children at home and can barely get the coffee ready for the next day without falling asleep..... by 8PM!!!! Sheesh!!
Oh, and what's this I hear??? Howard Stern is going to be a judge on "America's Got Talent?" Are you serious??  Ummm, I've seen some of the talent that he ooooogled on his show, and I'm pretty sure that NBC is NOT going to let a floozy, big floppy titted chick bend over a chair and let midgets whip her on the ass with a dead, three foot long salmon.  Is he REALLY an ideal candidate??? And, if I'm not mistaken, didn't NBC FIRE him for his wonderful mouth back in the 80's???  Reality tv is really hitting the skids.......  I guess that's why I just don't watch tv that much anymore.....   nothing but garbage!!!
Well kids, time to get out of the bubbletub and go canoodle with my D!!!
If I don't post again before Christmas, I hope everyone has a fabulous Christmas and gets lots of goodies from Santa. Or, if you're an asshole, I hope you get NOTHING!!!! You know who you are!!
Peace out!~