Respect ALL Branch of the Military!!!

I actually wrote this Monday, but, I waited to post it...... I was VERY pissed! Still am.......

People amaze me!

Yesterday, Osama Bin Laden was shot and killed by  Seal Team 6. ST6 is a  Tier-One counter-terrorism force similar to the Army's elusive Delta group. Folks, this is HUGE!! No, it's not the end of terrorism but it has removed one of the most evil men on this planet and  maybe it has  given people who lost loved ones on 9/11, hopefully a little bit of closure.  So WHY??? WHY are we criticizing WHO made the kill? I'm stunned. I actually had a "friend" on face book who posted on face book this morning, and I quote, " yah!! OBL is dead! Thank God it wasn't the Marines that took him out! Go SEALS!" Ok, first off, ARE YOU F'ING SERIOUS??? Why would you bash ANY branch of the military? They ALL play a part in protecting us EVERY-SINGLE-DAY!!! They ALL put their lives on the line for our freedom!! HOW DARE YOU??? My nephew served in the Marine's and did two tours in Iraq! I have friends whose husbands or kids are over there fighting! Would you walk up to them and laugh in their face because they are a Marine? Or an infantryman in the ARMY? YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN SERVED IN THE MILITARY!!! OMG, this has pissed me off to no end. You are a piece of shit!! If you feel it necessary to bash any member of the military, I dare you to do it to their face! You are a musician! How does this compare? Please, do tell????

Sorry, but that really pissed me off and I had to vent! I have Uncles that were in the MARINES and were in Vietnam, my son's father was in the ARMY and served in Desert Storm, my nephew was a MARINE  and served two tours in Iraq, my son has friends who are in the ARMY and MARINES serving in Iraq! How dare anybody say hateful things about people that risk their lives for ALL OF US!! Shame on you!!!

I, for one, am thankful for ALL of the service men and women  who serve our country, TO PROTECT US!!!

No, I am not an Obama fan. But I do not believe that today is the day to criticize him. Yes, he will be remembered for this FOR SURE! And????????

The Night the Lights Went Out in GA...well, Macon...

WOW!!! I am a total shit-weather magnet, I swear!!
So, My D and I planned a good little weekend out. I checked the weather before I  headed down to Macon and the WORST it showed was cloudy skies. I can deal with that. Looked at going to a Braves game on Friday and Saturday (D has never been to a pro-baseball game so, it wasn't to see the Braves.... it was just for the experience only. They played the Mets.... come on). Anyway, go figure, it rained on Friday. No problem. Just hung out with D and had a good time, regardless of the rain (get your mind out of the gutter) and no ballgame. Watched the weather Friday night and it called for some rain over night but Saturday afternoon was going to be really nice.  Cool. Plan A still a go. Or so I thought.  I woke up at about 5 am Saturday morning (we stayed at a hotel Friday night) and went outside for a smoke. It was a little breezy.... ok, a lot breezy, but at 5 am, I was too tired to notice. Though I did hear a siren. Not your typical police siren.... this siren was constant. I thought, "hmmm, this is an odd time to be having an air raid siren test (we had an air raid siren across the street from my house growing up, so, it wasn't unusual for me). I went back into the room and D was up so we decided to get up and have our coffee and go outside and smoke. Well, the wind had picked up quite a bit, but again, nothing untolerable. THEN, the lights went off.... at the hotel, the street lights, EVERYTHING!!! ummmmm..... hmmm.. Kerri does NOT like the dark.... AT ALL! So, needless to say, they requested that everyone GATHER in the lobby and the breakfast room, since it was the first and safest floor......BECAUSE THERE WAS A TORNADO THAT JUST TOUCHED DOWN A MILE OR SO AWAY!!!!  Now, at 5 am, you would think everyone would be groggy and sleepy. OH HELL NO! I think we had a bunch of women who were on their first "girls weekend away" trip. They were acting like a bunch of teenage girls.  Huddling, squealing, acting like a bunch of cattle being hearded in to the barn. Darren and I just sat by the window, having our coffee. Of course we heard the, "GET AWAY FROM THE WINDOW!"  First off, do not tell me what to do. But, especially don't tell Darren what to do! That is a big NO NO!! Secondly, the tornado had already come and gone at this point and there was no wind or rain. THE ELECTRICITY WAS OUT!!!  Jeesh!!! These people were on the verge of singing Kumbaya... holding hands, sitting in a circle, freaking out because there would be no hot breakfast served due to no power.  Really? You think you'll perish from not having breakfast??  Ok, maybe I'm becoming a TORNADO PRO, due to having two hit near me within a month and one taking part of my roof off... I don't know. I do know this.... after the tornado hits and the wind and rain stop, it's over. That's it. These people were acting like we were being hit with the tsunami that hit Japan and we were just all going to die here.
These people were just SO loud and SO dramatic..... uggghhh.....   The lady who makes breakfast was being heckled because there would be no hot breakfast! So out comes the fruit, cereal bars and anything else she could get her hand on.  I swear these women thought we were dying! Calling people on their cell phones, panicking, doing the, "if I don't make it, hug the dog for me," kind of shit..... uggh..  Darren and I went back upstairs, in the dark, and went back to bed.  Got up and it was BEAUTIFUL out. 
The point of this story is this.......  if you are planning on doing anything outdoors, DON'T INVITE ME!!! I bring tornados.......  I'm a shit weather magnet. Other than that, a GREAT weekend with my D! Oh, and by the way, the last time I went to Macon, yep, you guessed it, they had a tornado.  I rest my case.

I'm NOT Perfect??? Are you serious???

Wow... nothing like having a day dedicated to reinforcing the fact that you are NOT perfect. Jeesh.....
It started off with a phone call basically stating the obvious....I'M NOT PERFECT!! I'm ok with the fact that I'm not perfect. But to be berated first thing in the morning?? Ummm, NO! I cannot and will not deal with that! Especially over shit that is not worth arguing about. I am forty years old... please don't treat/talk to me like a naive little child. There is nothing worse than someone putting you on a pedestal and when you do something that, to the normal person, wouldn't be that big of a deal, you are treated like you just stole their best friend and cut their heart out. WTF?
Not only that, I woke up this morning in AGONY!!! I couldn't even roll over. I raked and bagged leaves ( 15 total bags) yesterday and I am seriously paying for it today. My calves hurt, my glutes hurt, my back hurts,my shoulders hurt, my forearms hurt, my hands have blisters on them and my neck is sensitive to the touch!! OMG!!! Two muscle relaxers, a 40 of Miller Lite and a hot bath did NOT help it at ALL!! So, here it is, Sunday, and what am I doing? Sitting in the recliner, ON THE HEATING PAD LIKE AN OLD PERSON!!!!
Before I got comfy in the recliner, I went to Target to order my new glasses. When the old dude helping me was all excited about the fact that my new bifocal, PROGRESSIVE lenses are just like his, I felt the gray come into my hair follicles at lightning speed. How can this be??? I had 20/20 vision about 5 years ago. How did I go from PERFECT vision to progressively NOT perfect? Regardless, I ordered them because frankly, I CAN'T SEE SHIT!
I know I'm not perfect and nothing about me is perfect. Nobody is. But, I am who I am and if that's not good enough, well, I don't know what to tell you.

I Don't Care Anymore.......

What a crap-ass day!! Rain... wind.... blah.... 
I'm sitting in my bubble tub, of course, thinking about things that have been going on in my life lately. Needless to say, some things I'm not very happy about. Recently, I was pretty much called a liar. OK, let me just clear the air here real quick. One, I DO NOT LIE!!! If I change my mind, well, that doesn't make me a liar. Indecisive, selfish.... maybe. A liar? Not a chance in hell. Trust me, if I don't like something or don't want to do something, I'll tell you straight out!! So, on that note, kiss my ass! I'm tired of trying to defend myself.
I've also come to the conclusion recently that I'm too frigin nice! WTF is wrong with me? I cater to people because I genuinely care about them and then get shit on. How can people do that? And why in the hell do I keep letting it happen? NO MORE!!! 
I'm all about Kerri right now and what makes ME happy!!! You don't like it? Oh well, I'm sorry..... fuck off then.

Today, I'm lying in the tub, my pore cleansing face mask drying on my face like hot, red clay in the Georgia sun (hoping it pulls all the wrinkles and blemishes OUT), candles burning, radio blasting.... just all about me. I'm also not answering my phone or text messages today. I see a big glass of wine (I said one glass and it is after 12:00 for you bible beating hypocrites), Jersey Shore marathon (yeah, a little juice head Guido marathon is more accurate),my recliner, a nap and then some writing later on. Yep. That's my day.
So, watch out, the NEW and IMPROVED Kerri is getting ready to emerge. You think my blogs are nasty now? You ain't seen nothin' yet!!!  No more Miss Sensitive (believe it or not, I really am an overly sensitive person. I know previous blogs would make you think differently)...... I just read Snooki's article in Rolling Stone and ya' know what? She may look like a little sausage but that girl is honest and doesn't give a shit what people think about her!! She is who she is and look where it's taking her? She's not perfect, that for sure, but she doesn't let people shit on her and calls them out when they try to.  She's my new hero! I will not be sporting the Snooki pouf or the tight dresses.  I don't want to be her clone. I just want to have the confidence of that pint size sausage in a baby sock (and to think I didn't like her at one point. That's what you get for judging someone without really knowing them).
Well, time to rinse the mask and have some wine.
Phil Collins says it best........

Spring is in the Air........ Get Your Damn Feet Done!!!!!

Lord help me..... seems like every year, when I go to Target on the one nice day that feels like Spring is almost here, I run into the person who got so excited to wear summer attire that they left the house looking suck-tastic! Last year, I had the run in with the guy with the shorty-shorts on and the chia pets UN GROOMED!!! This year, it's the woman with the feet that are so dry and flaky and cracked, wearing NICE sandals..... WTF? Do you people not do a "look over" before you head out the door? First off, I hate feet! I only like my own. But, when it's time to lose the socks and wear sandals, I exfoliate, exfoliate, EXFOLIATE!!! Then, I do a major pedicure, you know, to soften up the skin, make it look like I didn't just step in a pile of cigarette ashes and plaster of paris.THAT IS SO FRIGIN NASTY!!!! They just look all rough and crusty.... ewwwwww!!!! I hope you don't have expensive sheets on your bed!!! You'll cut them bitches up with your heels getting in.
I don't know why this annoys the shit out of me! It just does. I think everyone should take care of themselves before exposing your feet for the summer.  My feet look good all year long.... because I DON'T want to have to buy new sheets every other week! Plus, it just feels good.
I guess it's just that time of year......  I'm growing to hate the end of winter/beginning of Spring.  It grosses me out, honestly.  Oh, and what about the legs... all dry and flaky....  uggghhhh!! They make fucking lotion, people!!!
Oh hell, at least it gives me something to blog about.  Happy almost Spring, people!
Peace out~

Holy Shit..... Where to Begin

I've been in a funk over the last few weeks and I'm really starting to irritate the shit out of myself. Is it the weather? Is it the anticipation of receiving my divorce papers? Is it the unknown of where my life is headed to now? I don't know.... and even a bottle of Little Penguin Merlot is not helping me out.I can't concentrate on any one thing for more than a nano-second, it seems. I've also fallen into this selfish mode.  I think about me and me only and let me tell ya, that is NOT cool.  When people you love say, "Um, what the eff? Did you forget I'm here?", that's a sign that your head  is apparently up your ass.  I have always tried to make people know that I care about them and want them around. Lately, I just push people out the door. Literally.

Not only that, I'm getting pissed over the crap going on in the world.

Take for instance, my neighbor. A 16 year old kid....  conspired with two friends at school to kill his parents.  WHAT???? So, last week, the two other boys showed up at his house and shot him instead?? WTF? Craziness.  Now I'm afraid to sit in the Bitch Cave and enjoy a nightcap. Great.....  Losers. Jody, I'm getting a gun.... soon.....

I have nothing nice to say about anything right now. I have friends that seem to think that my life is just as normal as it ever was, not thinking I may be dealing with a lot of stress due to the impending dissolution of my marriage. No, don't ask if I'm ok..... don't worry that I'm sitting here stressed,  pulling my hair out, feeling like a failure.... nah.... let's turn it into why I'm not my same old self and how it is a shock that I am not the ME you knew 6 months ago. Shit... Really??? If you were my friend, then, I guess you should understand that I'm not really myself right now. And just fucking leave it at that. Or hell, just pop in one day and take a look for yourself! I'm in the nurturing Kerri mode right now.... I'm not into making sure other people are feeling all warm and fuzzy. (Read paragraph two again) Oh,I forgot your birthday? Well excuse the piss outta' me. I was kind of busy.... drowning in a bottle of Merlot!!!! 

See, nothing nice is going to come out of this blog. I should end it right here, but shit, I'm on a roll.

Here's another tidbit of info..... if you have "Baby Mama Drama" issues, PLEASE, PLEASE.... DON'T POST THAT SHIT ON FACE BOOK.  Are you ignorant? First off, we know that baby mama drama stems from the Mama not likin' the Daddy being happy or having a life.  So, take the drama to Judge Whapner if it's that frigin important. Nobody needs to know that you're a jack-ass!! Oh, and for you hypocrites, writing nasties on Face book about someone and then telling that said someone later on that you're sorry and you're going to go pray on it......  go eat shit please.  You are a crazy person and EVERYONE knows it. Prayers, lying about your education, exorcisms'......  we know you people are nuts.... you really don't need to put it out there for the world to see.  You're only humiliating yourself.  

OK, well, this is why I haven't been blogging,..... not too many nice things to say.

Well, hope y'all enjoy the video.  

Break is Over...... Time to Bitch Again!

Just happened to notice that I haven't bitched...,. I mean, blogged, in a few weeks.  Why you ask? I have no idea. Kind of been in a funk. Or I could still be in shock after receiving my out-frigin-rageous electric bill!!! Crap, don't get me started on that again!!
Let's see, what have I been doing....... well, I redid my living room and now it's a comfy, cozy, lay in the recliner, junk food eating, Jersey Shore watching womb.  It's my happy place. Which, unfortunately, is not helping the muffin top issue that has crept up again. See, I quit hula-hooping and look what happened.  I was even going to the gym 3 nights a week but since we got all that snow, I refuse to leave the house for anything other than the necessities..... wine, smokes, coffee.... you see where I'm going with that. I'm going to Florida for a few days next week and when I get back, it's back to the gym to widdle the muffin.
I'm in the process of outlining my new book. I've gotten some of it written and working on a proposal as we speak. SOMEONE PLEASE HIRE MY ASS TO WRITE!!!!!!!!  Who wouldn't want a witty, smart-mouthed, tell-it-like-it-is writer representing their company?? I've seen some crappy books out there lately and figured the authors must have self published or blew the publisher because I now use those books pages as coasters, tissues, fire starters and whatever else they may be good for. Certainly not good for reading.
So, anyways, I'm back and I'm on a mission! Watch out New York Times Best Sellers List!!!!