Lindsay Lohan Tested Positive for Coke? Nooooo..........

Well, well, well........  I would love to say that I am shocked, but I'm not. Lindsay just tested positive for COKE at her court appointed probation visit.   Let see, the judge gave her what 90 days in jail then she was ordered to go right into rehab.... for her COKE problem. So, she was released from jail early for good behavior (?? over crowded jail) then sent to rehab where in less than a week had somehow made everyone believe she was clean and a really, REALLY good inspiration to the other junkies.  Riiiiiiggghhht! And Elvis is over here and I just made him a peanut butter and nanner sand which.

Is that court system really that ignorant?  Did they truly NOT see this coming? The girl is an ACTRESS you bunch of douche bags!! She acted out being sober and kind and sweet.  This is not her.  She is a coke head.  Two weeks in jail isn't going to change that! A year in rehab, MAYBE.  No lesson was learned by her in jail or therapy.  Pretty obvious, don't ya think?

If she gets into an accident and hurts someone, if I were them, I would sue Lindsay, the judge, the county, the psychiatrist who cleared her to leave.... everyone who enabled her to go out and do this all over again!!!! They are just as irresponsible and Lindsay. Makes me sick. If that was me, I'd still be serving my 11-29. Cause I sure the hell wouldn't have gotten off that easy.......  Only in Hollywood apparently and only if you are a star.  My new nickname for her...  Lindsay Loserhan!!!!

On a more serious note.......

I just want to say that, you never really know what you have until it's gone. You go about your business everyday, not thinking that tomorrow, a person that you love could be gone. Sometimes by choice.... sometimes not. It's true, though. I found out today that someone I once knew, my age, died. Unexpectedly. No, we weren't in contact with each other, but, just the thought of someone that I knew, so young, is just, gone. He won't see another sunset.... but worse, nobody will see another sunset WITH HIM. To me, that's tragic. His mother will not get to see her baby boy again, his friends won't get to see him or talk to him again..... strangers will never get the opportunity to be friends with him.
It makes you wish you could go back and say or do things differently. To make sure that they knew that you loved them and how much you cared about them. We take for granted that they will just be there tomorrow.

I have had a total eye opening experience. I plan on, from now on out, saying exactly how I feel, so nobody will ever have doubts. I want the people that I love and care about to know, without a doubt, that they were loved by me. 100%.

I'm also going to TRY and start stressing less about that unimportant crap that seeps its way into my life. If someone doesn't like me, oh well. I'm not going to let it bother me. They're just missing out on having an honest, truthful friend in their life. I'm not going to bicker with my husband or anyone else. Why? What's the point? It's so stupid. If I woke up tomorrow and he were gone, I would hope that he went knowing that I love him, I appreciate everything he's done for me (iphone updates, fix my computer, kill bugs, itched my back when i couldn't reach it, fixed me spaghetti, loved me....) Because in the end, isn't that all that matters? The little things that let people know how much you REALLY do love them and appreciate them? Yeah, I think so.

Starting today, I'm going to be a better wife, mother and friend.

What? Me? Mean? Never!!!!!!

I think I'm going through a serious case of " you are annoying the shit out of me, I hate my life, why are you wearing THAT, who fucking cares, kiss my ass, please stop talking, face book is getting ridiculous, I want to stay drunk all day, why can't I find a lit agent, your ass can't sing" kind of funk.

Seriously, I rarely get on Face book anymore. I was becoming one of those people that I hate.  Post your every movement of everyday, get all philosophical over your hum-drum boring ass life...... NEXT! Twitter... now there's where I'm at.

What is wrong with me? I just want to sleep. I have no desire to do anything that I used to like. Except to go to Savannah, GA.  Seems it's the only place I like these days.  I have been ignoring texts, emails and phone calls from people I used to talk to everyday.  Not because of them so much...... it's just me.  I don't feel like exerting myself to answer the phone, text, what have you. So there ya go folks, please don't ask me WHY next time you do see/talk to me. I don't want to have to explain it again. It could be embarrassing..... for you.

Is it because of the change of weather? Is that fucking with my body chemistry and turning me into this hormonal rabid bitch that I've become?  I love summer and as far as I'm concerned, it's totally gone.  I've had to wear a hoodie and slippers for the last several mornings. Yes J, we KNOW how much YOU enjoy this! I don't.  Either give me 90 and sunny with sand and the ocean or 30 and cold with some lake effect snow so i can scoot my ass down the driveway in the laundry basket and sip hot chocolate.  This in between shit is for the birds. Yeah, yeah, football my ass. A bunch of dudes running around in tight pants chasing a ball and slapping each other on the ass. To me, football season just makes it easier for the already lazy people to come up with an excuse to sit in the la-z-boy, scratch their junk, eat bad foods and scream like the cast of Jersey Shore girls.  NEXT!

So, where do I go from here?  Move to an island until about May? Probably not gonna happen.  No.... I'll have to stay here, deal with stupid ass people, watch dumb shit on TV for the next 6 months, read peoples boring life stories on FB and try to control this razor sharp, cuss word loving tongue of mine.  Oh, and one more thing that has totally been driving the ever loving shit out of me-------- if you are sick, running a fever, have hemorrhoids, sore throat, kidney stones, gall stones,  pink eye, stink eye, dyslexia, perplex'ia, athletes foot, jock itch, ringworm, add, adhd, tmi, tmj, carpal tunnel, dandruff, blue balls, vaginitis, sinusitis, chicken pox or any other issues, please..... PLEEEEASE.......  TELL YOUR DOCTOR AND NOT THE WORLD!!! WE DON'T GIVE A RATS ASS YOU HYPOCHONDRIAC'S!!!! Take two frigin Aleve, some Nyquil, a shot of Jack and SHUT THE EFF UP ALREADY!!!!!! I'm sorry.... but if I can go to work one week after a major surgery, I'm almost positive you can get through an 8 hour day with a sore throat or ear infection.  Deal with it!!! OMG, I almost said the P word!! Whoa.....  I'm apparently very irritated and angry!!

Well, don't I feel a little better..!!??!! Yes! I do.....

So, if I've offended you in any way, I would normally say I'm sorry. Not gonna happen today.  If you are one of THOSE people listed above, well, I don't know what to say... other than, YOU IDIOT!!!

Oh, and one more thing.... if you wear puprle lip stick, outlined in purple lip liner.... don't cry..... you should expect to be laughed at!!! Hey, 1985 called and they want you back!!!



This just reminded me of Jody and what she'll be like in 50 years!!! LOL

Welcome Home, Grand Ole Opry!

The Grand Ole Opry will return home to the Opry House on Tuesday, September 28, 2010, after being displaced since the May floods. The show will air live on GAC.

The “Circle” was brought back to the Opry House on August 25, 2010 after months of being refurbished. The circle was submerged under 46 plus inches of mud and water after the flooding. As soon as the water receded, it was removed and work to restore it began. Brad Paisley and Little Jimmy Dickens were on hand when the circle was returned home. The six foot oak circle was taken from the Ryman Auditorium and moved to the Opry House in 1974.

The Opry is not just celebrating it’s return to the Opry House, but it will also be celebrating it’s 85th birthday this year. There are many special events planned with plenty of stars on hand to help celebrate. Little Jimmy Dickens and Brad Paisley are among several artists expected to perform at the first show. Blake Shelton, Josh Turner, Jason Aldean and many others will also make appearances.

The Opry has been held at The Opry House since 1974. Not one show was missed after the flood in May, as the Opry was held at different locations throughout Nashville.

Other special events are planned to help celebrate the return to The Opry House and the Grand Ole Opry’s 85th birthday. Spirit of Nashville Day is scheduled for October 2nd. The Opry is inviting Nashville to come and tour the Opry House since the renovations. Fans will be able to see the circle and several new changes, including the new dressing rooms and the artist entrance. There will be free music all day at the Opry Plaza. Of course, the 85th Birthday bash is scheduled for October 8-9. This will be a big weekend at the Opry House, offering backstage tours, a party in the Opry Plaza, which is free to attend and the Grand Ole Opry will have many artists on hand to help celebrate.

You can go to opry.com to view the schedule for the Grand Ole Opry and the special events planned and purchase tickets.

SACURRITY!!!!!

Well, I'm super pissed that Jeanette and I don't get to go see Anjelah Johnson at Zanies' this weekend.  Sold Out!!! The entire weekend....
So, I'm having my own comedy hour right here...... in the bubble tub.  This girl is hysterical.....

Accessorizing the Va-jay-jay?

Somebody please tell me why the sudden obsession with blinging out the va-ja-jay?  I'm reading my Cosmo, and what's on the cover? "Untamed Va-jay-jays- guess what sexy style is back?"  Are you serious?? Has a va-jay-jay ever REALLY been sexy? Um, I think not.
This is the second magazine I've read, in as many months, that is talking about Vajazzling the va-jay-jay or accessorizing it with glittery applique's.  WHAT???? 
Last month, one of my magazines even gave you templates that you could use to "landscape" the va-jay-jay in cute little shapes.  Riiiiiiiiiiigggghhhhhttttt!!! How about, where the nair hits, IT'S GONE!!!
Ok, so I had no idea there were so many accessories for the va-jay-jay. First, you have your vag-bling, which is basically like bedazzling your girl parts.  Nah.  Or, you can go with the vag tattoo, which, also comes in glow in the dark tats. Nice. For those women who just think thier color is a little, I don't know, pale, you can find the "My New Pink Button" temporary dye. Yes, it comes in 4 different shades: Marilyn, Bettie, Audry and Ginger.(I almost bet Audrey didn't dye her cooch!) Look, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Now don't forget, if you have that dreaded camel toe, the Cuchini is an option.  I'm not even gonna go into details. 
I swear, this is crazy!! Honestly, I'm not gonna vajazzel my who-ha for ANYBODY!!! I may or may not landscape, just depends on how lazy I am the day I shave my legs. I'm certainly not going to dye it or tattoo it!! It's a funhole with hair! End of story. I'll vajazzle when I see a man naddazle! Not gonna happen my friends!!

Take this rose and shove it

Well, here we are again.  The finale of The Bachelorette.  Last time I blogged about this was when Ali bolted on Jake because of her job. Ok, ok, it was probably a blessing in disguise, because, I've watched the Jake and Vienna blow up, and I gotta tell ya, he's a DICK!!  So, that was probably a great thing on her part.....
So, here we are on the eve of her "final rose" ceremony. I really am curious to know exactly how much time has she spent with Chris and Roberto, one on one. I mean, the show only lasts, what, two months? And in that time, she spends a lot of time with a lot of men. She's known these guy's two months and she's soooooo in love with Roberto....  ok, I've been with my husband for 5 years and I'm just finding out that he doesn't like bar soap!! Who knew??? No, this is not a reason to divorce him, but, it just goes to show that two months is an awfully short amount of time to think you've figured out how a man is going to be once you get married.  Sure he's a loving, caring, romantic gentleman on tv.  What makes her think that as soon as they get married he won't be sit in his La-Z-Boy, scratchin' his stuff, lettin stinky's, wiping cheeto crumbs on his underwear and belching the ABC's??? Of course they're on their best behavior.  All men, AND women, act differently in the beginning of a relationship.
So, she chose Roberto..... shocker. Well, I hope they'll live happily ever after. I mean, she's run out of shows to be on, right? Well, hopefully we won't be seeing her and Roberto having a verbal, knock down drag out anytime soon.
I still think this show is nuts!!!