MAGIC 8 BALL, are you a man?

"Yes, Definitely!"  Seriously, that's the response it just gave me.

I have become addicted to this stupid application.  Every morning, I get up before going out side and ask it, "Magic 8 ball, did my newspaper get stolen again?" Usually it responds with, "Ask again later." I've asked this stupid thing so many questions;  Do these shoes go with this outfit? Is my neighbor gay? Will I ever get paid to write (the answer to that is usually, " Reply hazy, try again")? Will the oil spill ruin my ten day beach vacation? Do you think I'm fat?
I had a real magic 8 ball when I was a kid.  I loved that thing.  I think my mother sold it in a yard sale, along with my sisters ENTIRE collection of the NY Yankees baseball card collection which probably would have been worth a boatload of money by now , all of my 80's concert t-shirts, my ENTIRE collection of the Smurf collectibles, Bryan Adams autographed concert ticket stub ( sentimental value only), and so many other things that I still wish I had.  Though, she did keep my Rubix cube and a Cabbage Patch doll........ whoop- de- shit!  Oh well, who knew, right? Anyways, just thought I'd share my Magic 8 ball addiction with you.

See, back then, we had a ball full of water, and usually full of shit, to keep us busy.  No computers, no internet, no Facebook (Spacebook, as my mother calls it).... no, you "went outside" to chat with friends.
Magic 8 ball, wasn't life better back then? "My reply is SHIT NO!" (this was one of my own responses I added to the list of possible responses) Go figure.........